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E-mail subject lines in 8 words or less

Christine Kent

Short and punchy is the way to persuade a reporter to open your e-mail

The subject line of your e-mail pitch may be the most important piece of writing you create in your media relations work—and the shorter it is, the better. Given the attention spans of your media targets (right up there with gnats), and the tidal waves of e-mail that come flooding into reporter mailboxes, the onus is on you to be brief and clever.

So, how to convey the timeliness and brilliance of your pitch—in no more than seven or eight words, and preferably fewer? Here’s how several PR professionals managed the job.

“Why my acquisition failed”: Shawn Whalen, senior VP at Schwartz Communications in Waltham, Mass., used this subject line in a bid to woo reporters covering management issues. The client, XcelleNet, was acquired by another company but the deal hadn’t gone well. XcelleNet was eventually spun off from the parent company.

“The goal was to show how the company had survived and become independent again,” Whalen explains—hence the subject line. It worked so well that The Wall Street Journal, which did a story on the company’s lessons learned (as did Forbes), used the same wording in its own headline.

“Pearls and paychecks/Sapphires and salaries”: The Gemological Institute of America’s career fair and open house, held annually in both New York and Carlsbad, Calif. is a vehicle for connecting job seekers to employers in the industry and also to attract anyone interested in gems. “Even if you’re the only career fair in your industry, which we are, it’s hard to get coverage,” says Laura Simanton, senior PR manager for the institute.

Simanton decided to tie in the two themes of the fair into a short and sweet pitch subject. (Pairing two seemingly disconnected ideas in a pitch opener is always an attention-getter.) In addition to the two subject lines used above, Simanton used “Rubies and resumes” and “Emeralds and employment” for various pitches and media advisories. The result: more mainstream coverage in New York and Carlsbad, and great trade ink.

“Weather to pack sunscreen or an umbrella”: This play on words was useful in driving up media responses to the pitch that Justin O’Neill, senior account executive at Ogilvy PR in San Francisco, sent out on behalf of Weather Underground. The online weather service had previously launched a Trip Planner service which allowed users to check out average temperatures in the cities they planned to visit.

O’Neill’s pitch helped land an Associated Press article, which then ran in 19 dailies. “We were extremely pleased with the results, given the fact the coverage was not news-driven in the normal sense,” he says. “I credit the subject line for getting so many responses, regardless of whether or not the reporters ran with the story—and getting them to read the pitch is half the battle.”

“Colorado: Help bring a cow into the world”: This kind of subject line is hard to resist—and Greg Morton, group director of PR for Praco PR in Denver, was counting on just that reaction when he penned this subject line for his client, the Colorado Tourism Office.

“The e-mail pitch then went on to talk about spring being calving season in Colorado, how visitors could experience a calf birthing at a local dude ranch and other things to do while on vacation,” explains Morton. The pitch won a story in the New York Daily News and also generated interest from The New York Times and USA Today.

“Researchers take ‘Fantastic Voyage’ through the human body”: William Dube, senior news specialist for the Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, N.Y., was asked to get coverage for a faculty/student project at the school. “They had created a 3-D, virtual tour of the human pancreas down to the microscopic level for use in teaching and diagnostics,” Dube explains. “We had DVDs of the tour for the media that I knew would be very impressive, but I needed a catchy title to get reporters hooked in.”

Dube then hit on a tie-in to a favorite movie. “Given that the movie ‘Fantastic Voyage’ was about a miniaturized crew traveling through a human, the line also had nice symmetry,” he says. “Anyone who had heard of the movie had an instant image in their head about what the research was going to show.” Stories ran in The Washington Post and on the syndicated TV program Discoveries & Breakthroughs Inside Science.

“Veggies for dessert? Blue cheese gelato!”: With a flavor combination like this, journalists couldn’t fail to take a peek at the pitch, written by Claire Bloxom, senior account executive at Cooper Smith Agency in Dallas. Bloxom was charged with pitching new fruit and vegetable flavors from Paciugo Gelato, an ice cream store chain.

“Blue Cheese Gelato sounded like one of the grossest combinations I can possibly think of,” says Bloxom. “But what reporter wouldn’t be able to open the e-mail after knowing that someone would create such a flavor?”

Article comments:
Sunday, January 24, 2010 9:28:48 PM by DR-PAM GUMBS
The art of communication for the Clinical Pharmacist delivers the message to the Patient or the Prescriber of the importance of taking one or a combination of medications in an effort to control a disease state and therefore their entire state of health. Knowledge empowers the individual to take control of their life. Compliance is the key to success. I believe this tops the list for being a Health Care Communicator . DR-PAM
Monday, January 25, 2010 6:27:39 PM by Carla Schlemminger
Christine, these are excellent examples of how to pique a reporter's interest, especially if the subject matter is a bit technical, dry or just plain esoteric. I often find that another great exercise is to write the headline & opening paragraph of the story you'd like that pub to write before pitching them. These professionals are spot on, they are making their pitch conducive to being read and then pitched up to an editor. Thank you, Carla @carlainsf
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 10:37:59 AM by Tracy Mueller
Wonderful examples of e-mail pitch lines - thank you for posting. I'm especially happy to see the creativity in the business and higher ed pitches - two fields that tend to take a more straight forward approach. I think too often we fall into the trap of trying to cram the whole big picture into the subject line, when really it just needs to entice a reporter to open the darn thing (while still being relevant of course).
Monday, February 01, 2010 7:44:05 AM by D.G. Connors
Speaking as a journalist who receives these pitches every day, please don't begin yours with "follow up" in the subject line when it's your first communication on a particular matter. Cheap tricks like that make me less inclined to care about what's inside the e-mail.

And it may seem rude when we can't answer your e-mail, but we receive so many each day that's it's just not possible. But I try to answer e-mails that are somewhat personalized to me, particularly ones that show that the "pitcher" is actually familiar with our publication or rarer still what I write for the publication.

That reminds me, if you don't have time to personalize the pitch e-mail with my name, then please remove the pseudo-personal greetings, such as "I hope you're doing well." Better to just get right down to business.

Friday, March 05, 2010 3:20:56 PM by Susan Fuchs
It is absolutely true that if yu don't have a sharp hook in your subject line, your pitch won't get read. Too much competition. So it was great news when a local reporter said he didn't always use my pitches, but he always opened my emails, because of my subject lines. Two recent examples:
After Death, Young Mom Meets Those Who Brought Her Back
Icing His Blood Saved His Brain
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 1:06:19 PM by Jim Matorin
Always looking for tips on how to break through the clutter out there. Step one is if people know you. However, step two definitely is the subject line the more I document response rate.

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