The gift of song is an alluring way to honor a president (see: Marilyn Monroe). But the little ditty below is a far cry from Marilyn’s salacious rendition of “Happy Birthday.” Instead of honoring Presidents’ Day, the following video goes out to all of you smartphone carryin’, Angry Bird playin’ folks in the bathroom. You disgust me, but here’s to you and your fearless disregard of sanitation.



Playing with your phone on the toilet might make the Food and Drug Administration’s stomach turn, but the agency has far bigger worries—such as diet pills. The FDA is now reviewing the effects of the weight-loss medications for a second time after increasing concern of birth defects and heart complications.

Caffeine inhalants, such as the increasingly popular AeroShot, also have the FDA on alert. However, the product is sold as a dietary supplement, so it didn’t require FDA approval before hitting the market.

If you’re worried that your caffeine levels are too low, doctors from Penn State have created Caffeine Zone, a free app that tells you the perfect time to brew a cup-o-joe to optimize your caffeine levels.

And sure, it might stunt their growth, but why should your little ones miss out on the high-energy fun. Introducing, the “babyccinos.”

Those “babyccinos” aren’t a joke. Though if you’re a guy, you probably wish it was. In a study commissioned by Comedy Central, 85 percent of male respondents said “humor was crucial to their self-definition,” producing what the network now calls “Comedy Natives.”

If that’s true, then maybe you’ll like this. We present Dubstep Hipster Cat. It’s what Geekosystem sums up as “35 crazy seconds of pure, distilled Internet.”

If you’re more inclined to artistic entertainment, it may delight you to know this weekend’s Oscars telecast will feature a three-minute Cirque du Soleil performance.

ESPN mobile visitors were none too entertained with an inappropriate headline about New York Knicks marketing sensation Jeremy Lin after the team’s Friday night loss to New Orleans. The company has since fired the employee responsible, as well as issued an apology for the headline, “Chink in the Armor.”

No one’s apologizing for the Twitter feed @WhiteGirlProblems. What started as a drunken idea has become a Twitter sensation, a book, and now, possibly, a TV show. The three writers/friends/creators behind the popular handle and its fake persona Babe Walker talked to Reuters about the advent of the brand.

Perhaps the workers at Apple assembly plants need a Twitter feed about their very real problems—problems that have drawn serious media scrutiny for Apple. The coverage has been so negative that it prompted Apple to throw open its factory doors to ABC’s “Nightline,” which gives us a behind-the-scenes look at where so many of our iWhatevers are made.