There will be no crying over spilled milk at Beckerman PR, for there is no milk to spill in the firm's New Jersey kitchen. And that, according to the company's CEO, is worth crying over—and possibly firing over.

Gawker on Thursday published an email from Beckerman President Keith Zakheim that details what will happen to employees who fail to replace the milk in the office kitchen. You see, when Beckerman came into work on Tuesday, he found that the skim-milk bottle in the fridge was nearly empty (“Literally 3 drops, an amount that would maybe fill the tummy of a prematurely born mouse.”).

His email then turns “gravely serious”:

“... if I catch someone not replacing the milk, or at least, in the case where the downstairs store has close already, not sending an email to the office so the first person that arrives (usually Christa or me) can pick one up upon arrival - then I am going to fire you. Im not joking. You will be fired for not replacing the milk, and have fun explaining that one to your next employer. This is not a empty threat so PLEASE don't test me.

To his credit, Zakheim responded to Gawker’s request for a comment.

However, it seems he may need to issue another email threatening employees with dismissal for leaking internal emails to the press.

Words to live by, PR pros: Replace the milk.

Replace. The. Milk.