You sink into the cushions, pull out your phone and open it up to find an unexpected message from a friend of a friend.
Hey, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well over the past few months, and I think it’s time we hang out—just the two of us. Would you like to go to the movies with me this Saturday?
What good timing. You’ve been dying to see the new Brad Pitt flick that’s coming out this weekend.
You’ve also grown to like this person quite a bit, so you think to yourself, “Why not? I’m in!”
That’s the ideal outcome to your typical secret admirer scenario: One side drops a line with just the right touch, and the other person jumps right on board.
It doesn’t always work out that way—especially when the initiator doesn’t try to make the other person feel comfortable.
Imagine getting this message instead:
You look great in that cable knit sweater you bought last Tuesday. It really matches your eyes. You should wear it out to dinner with me. I know you’ve eaten at Skyline Bar + Bistro three times in the past two months. Let’s make a Saturday reservation for us at your usual dining time, 7:00 p.m. Eastern time.