Here are some closing lines that I can’t stand and my interpretations of them:
Cheers. Well I don’t know about you, but there isn’t any Bailey’s Irish Cream in my coffee this morning. By the way, thanks for getting my after-work drink in my head at 9 am. Are you even from England? Cheerio, yo.
God Bless. Unless you’re writing for the Chattanooga Christian Family Magazine, there is no reason to ever write this to someone. Thanks for rejecting my pitch, but it’s OK! God will forgive you.
Best Wishes. What is it, my birthday? I really appreciate the thought, but my birthday is September 10th. Are you being sarcastic and really don’t want to wish me a Happy Birthday? Best wishes to you on finding another closing line.
Warm(est) Regards. Warm? Seriously? Am I not good enough for Hot Regards? You can only give me a moderately cooked regards? People, I like my apple pie warm and a la mode, but not my regards. Gee, thanks for using the halfway adjective when emailing me. You could have at least heated my regards all the way. Are you trying to make me all cozy inside and “warm” up to you?