Field marketing director for Whataburger

The situation looked grim until, mercifully, we learned it was all a hoax perpetrated by a group of hog farmers in the U.K.

But it was too close a call. This could happen, folks. And if it does, we’ll need something to fill our empty, aching bellies—we’ll need a savory burger.

And where will we find this caped ground-cow crusader when we need him?

Whataburger could be that hero if it could just find a crusader of its own.