With opening day of the 2013 MLB season just a couple weeks away, time is running out for baseball fans to pawn their precious Topps cards or sell off an extraneous kidney—anything to cover the staggering price of those stadium beers, I suppose.
Heck, even notorious non-Hall of Famer Pete Rose—no stranger to selling a piece of himself to make a few bucks—is padding his pockets before spring training ends. According to Uproxx sports blog With Leather, the ex-Red and his Playboy model fiancé Kiana Kim star in a series of local commercials for Cincinnati retailer Muenchen’s Furniture. As Yahoo! Sports contests, the ads are certainly no Kool-Aid Man stealing a hit off old “Charlie Hustle,” but they’re still awkwardly splendid to marvel upon: