Editor’s note: This article is a re-run as part of our countdown of top stories from the past year.
It’s important not to get caught flatfooted in front of an audience.
I used to work at Hallmark, which is famous for stellar customer service—as well as greeting cards and charming (albeit formulaic) holiday movies.
All employees went through presentation and customer service training. One important lesson was: It’s OK to say, “I don’t know,” but it’s not OK to end with that. Make a plan to follow up with an answer.
Being in front of an audience can be unnerving, but when someone asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, it can be downright scary. It doesn’t have to be.
Use these tips to help you respond appropriately when you are caught off guard:
1. Don’t fake it.
If an audience member asks you something you don’t have a response prepared for, it can be a pressure-filled situation. Audience members stare at you, waiting for an answer—and “I don’t know” feels like it won’t suffice. It can be tempting to make something up to get past that moment or appease the audience. A little white lie might seem like a good solution.
Research has proven that most humans can detect when someone is lying, so faking an answer is not a good choice—for more than just the obvious ethical reason. Plus, if you are caught in a fib, you risk damaging your credibility beyond repair. No matter how uncomfortable you are, don’t fake it.
2. Reframe shame.
In a study, of the 37% who actually admitted lying, most said they did so “to protect themselves in some way—mostly to avoid shame or embarrassment, to avoid painful emotions and to avoid being judged.”
It’s true that for most people, not knowing something, especially when you are up front as the expert, is accompanied by feelings of shame or embarrassment.
We should work to be as prepared as possible for whatever comes up. However, it’s illogical to think we could answer every possible question posed during a presentation. Because of this, we must reframe the shame that comes with not knowing. Use one of these pivots to replace your embarrassment:
- Try feeling grateful that your audience is interested enough to ask a question.
- Try feeling curious about something you hadn’t thought about previously.
- Try feeling challenged to continue or expand your research.
- Try feeling inspired by your audience member’s passion toward your topic.
Any of these feelings can help replace that feeling of embarrassment.
3. Respond honestly.
Having prepared responses can protect you from the temptation to lie or the embarrassment of not knowing. The key is to make sure your audience feels heard and that your response doesn’t come off as dismissive or incomplete. Try one of these:
- “Unfortunately, that falls outside the scope of my research/this project, but thanks for your interest. If it’s something we decide to tackle in the future, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
- “Can I connect you with someone who might be better able to answer your question?”
- “I don’t know, but I’d be happy to look into that and get back to you with an answer.”
- “I don’t know, but can we schedule a time to discuss this further following the presentation?”
The audience will always appreciate when you respond with honesty and respect, even if the gist of your answer is, “I don’t know.”
A version of this post first appeared on the Ethos3 blog.
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